By Jim Lakely Worry not, scared Americans. The government bureaucracies that brought you the eternal “Orange Alert” in airports are now stepping up their efforts to protect you from a terrorist attack by plugging into your cell phone: Emergency officials will soon be able to blast critical alerts to anyone with a cell phone in a certain section of the city. If Times Square needs to be evacuated because of a bomb threat or if a hurricane is bearing down on Queens, warnings will be bounced from cell towers. . . . The system — called PLAN or Personal Localized Alerting Network — uses cell phone towers to send messages to everyone currently in a certain area, regardless of whether they’re visiting from out of town or have a phone registered elsewhere. People won’t have to register in advance to receive the alerts. Gotta love the creativity of government busy-bodies, especially when it comes to anagrams like “PLAN.” Seems fitting, but they could have done a lot better. How about PANIC, the Personal Alert Nonsense In Cellphones Or: Plying Asinine Nanny-state Intrusions Casually? ? Or maybe: Prying About, Not Including Consent? The program starts in New York, but will quickly spread nationwide — and will be pretty










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